It's alright. Everything is fine. Keep moving forward.

Hoo-haaa!

I am so happy. It's like a lot of shit has finally fallen into it's proper places. And most of all it seems like Havoc is alright with how things are going. I never once went into anything thinking I'd end up being a single mother. I am also the primary caretaker of my son. It has been insanely hard on me for the last few months trying to balance everything out, but when it finally came down to it, once I finally found out that my ex has a girlfriend, it's like a lot of weight fell off my shoulders.

By all means, the shit he put me through in my past is unforgivable, it left horrible scars on my self esteem, I'm sure some of my retaliation tactics left him a bit shaky too. Drug addled old men and equally drug addled young women are just brew for trouble. (We've both cut the drugs, future blog posts on addiction in the future!)


But the fact that he has a girlfriend is amazing. x3 I don't have to worry about him and his feelings anymore. All the love letters and music that he so adamantly sent to me suddenly ceased a few months ago finally makes sense now~! Of course, I like this new girlfriend of his already, as I knew about her years ago, so I don't have to fear her being some crazy ass bitch. She's younger than me, but he dated her years ago before. Once a cradle robber always a cradle robber!


But now. I just feel so in harmony and at peace. Now we can work on raising our son in the best possible way while still nurturing our own lives to be better than what they were or are currently. To me, this just seems like what our son needs. To see how to resolve conflict, to see two adults, though parted, working towards a better future for him. That we can bring other adults into our lives (with caution) and form healthy relationships.


It's okay to fall down, but it's always good to get back up and keep moving forward.

Full circle

It's been a few weeks since my last post. I decided that for a short time, up keeping a journal wasn't in my best intrest. I felt like I was posting things that could have been potentially shared with people on another platform. I've been working very hard to keep my thoughts, emotions, and other aspects in check. :) It only takes a few blows from friends to remind me now and then that I am indeed, a little or quite possibly very self-centric. I really enjoy these slaps to the face, because they wake me up, and because my friends happiness and well being is a concern of mine, the lessons usually stick.

I have overcome obstacles. Hard obstacles. As it would probably please my old friend Reko to know now, that I finally have realized my own value. I recently had a small regression, but it was small. It didn't blow out, I smiled, pushed through, and came out unharmed on the other side and feeling better. I didn't dwell on it and hate on myself for days on end like I used to do. I still have issues with 'minor rejections', but that seems to be only during a specific time of the month when I'm rather hormonal. *coughcough* I'm sure they make a pill for that.


I want to be a more humble person.